Posts Tagged ‘Holidays’
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Infertility is stressful no matter what the calendar says, but it can be particularly difficult during the holidays. For many couples, this time of year becomes a reminder of their pain rather than a celebration of their lives together.
If you are dealing with infertility, here are 10 ways to handle uncomfortable feelings and situations:
- Don’t tell yourself you must be happy all the time. Allow yourself to feel sorrow, joy and any other emotion. Bottling it up will only make it worse.
- Don’t give up on the holidays. If you’ve had a particularly rough year (e.g., IVF that didn’t work, a miscarriage), you can still celebrate the good things about your past 12 months.
- Don’t blame your partner for your holiday-related stress. It’s easy to point fingers, but remember that words can hurt. Instead, be supportive of one another.
- If you want to talk about your infertility issues with a friend, go ahead. But if your friend wants to talk about your infertility and you don’t, feel free to tell him or her that you’re uncomfortable.
- Don’t turn infertility into the “elephant in the room” that everyone tiptoes around. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, but if you want to discuss it or acknowledge it, that’s fine, too.
- Know that some people may be unsure how to approach you during the holidays, especially those with babies. You may have to reach out to them.
- Speaking of reaching out, it can be amazingly comforting to volunteer at holiday time. Not only will it take your mind off your own issues, but it will enable you to do something good for others.
- Set a steady pace leading up to (and out of) the holidays. Don’t rush around and make yourself crazy. It will only make you more likely to experience stress.
- If you feel unhappy around maternity or baby items, avoid certain stores and store departments when shopping for the holidays.
- Exercise during this season. It’s good for your body, mind and soul.
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Tags: 12 Months, Babies, Baby Items, Celebration, Couples, Digg, Elephant, Emotion, Happy All The Time, Holiday Time, Holidays, Infertility, Infertility Issues, Maternity, Point Fingers, Reminder, Sorrow, Steady Pace, Store Departments, T Rush, Time Of Year, Tiptoes, Uncomfortable Feelings
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Saturday, June 20th, 2009
Both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be difficult for couples who are having difficulty conceiving.
Because it’s tough to completely avoid these holidays, it’s important for men and women (and those who love them) to take an understanding, realistic approach to dealing with the day.
Below are some suggestions for getting through family-centered holidays:
- Don’t ignore the fact that it’s Father’s Day. But try not to spend every waking hour thinking about it, either.
- Spend time with your own father or a father figure.
- Plan to do something special with your loved ones.
- If you need to talk about your feelings, do so. (If you’re religious, know that many clergy make themselves available during these particularly sensitive times.)
- It’s fine to feel angry, resentful or uncomfortable. Emotions are normal. Just don’t take them out on those about whom you care.
- If you already have children, spend time with them.
- Remind yourself that infertility does not have anything to do with self-worth.
- If you and/or your partner feel being around children will be difficult on this holiday, you may want to avoid going to places (such as restaurants, amusement parks, etc.) where fathers and children will likely gather.
- Try to remain positive throughout the day.
- Do something healthy for yourself. For instance, if you like to exercise, plan a hike in the woods or a long bike ride in the country.
What suggestions do you have for coping with holidays like Mother’s and Father’s Day for those who are struggling with fertility issues? Feel free to comment.
Tags: Amusement Parks, Bike Ride, Children Spend Time, Clergy, conception difficulties, coping with holidays, Couples, difficulty conceiving, Father Figure, Father S Day, Father's Day, Fathers And Children, Feelings, Fertility Issues, Holidays, holidays without kids, Infertility, kid-centered holidays, Men And Women, Mother Day, Mother S Day, Mother's Day, Realistic Approach, Restaurants, Self Worth, Tweet, Uncomfortable Emotions
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