Infertility is stressful no matter what the calendar says, but it can be particularly difficult during the holidays.  For many couples, this time of year becomes a reminder of their pain rather than a celebration of their lives together.

If you are dealing with infertility, here are 10 ways to handle uncomfortable feelings and situations:

1. Don’t tell yourself you must be happy all the time.  Allow yourself to feel sorrow, joy and any other emotion.  Bottling it up will only make it worse.
2. Don’t give up on the holidays.  If you’ve had a particularly rough year (e.g., IVF that didn’t work, a miscarriage), you can still celebrate the good things about your past 12 months. 
3. Don’t blame your partner for your holiday-related stress.  It’s easy to point fingers, but remember that words can hurt.  Instead, be supportive of one another.
4. If you want to talk about your infertility issues with a friend, go ahead.  But if your friend wants to talk about your infertility and you don’t, feel free to tell him or her that you’re uncomfortable.
5. Don’t turn infertility into the “elephant in the room” that everyone tiptoes around.  You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, but if you want to discuss it or acknowledge it, that’s fine, too.
6. Know that some people may be unsure how to approach you during the holidays, especially those with babies.  You may have to reach out to them.
7. Speaking of reaching out, it can be amazingly comforting to volunteer at holiday time.  Not only will it take your mind off your own issues, but it will enable you to do something good for others.
8. Set a steady pace leading up to (and out of) the holidays.  Don’t rush around and make yourself crazy.  It will only make you more likely to experience stress.
9. If you feel unhappy around maternity or baby items, avoid certain stores and store departments when shopping for the holidays.
10. Exercise during this season.  It’s good for your body, mind and soul.

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