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Posts Tagged ‘Elephant’

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong throughout Fertility Treatments

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

For couples undergoing fertility treatments, stressors can sometimes seem quite overwhelming. On one hand, any change in a partnership can be challenging, but on the other, infertility shouldn’t lead to the dissolution of a relationship.

To help you keep your commitment strong throughout fertility treatments, we’ve come up with seven suggestions. Feel free to leave a comment if you have others that have worked for you!

1. Don’t make infertility the “center stage” of your relationship. If all you do is talk about not being able to conceive, it will overtake your time together.

2. Make plenty of time to be together as a couple. Go to the movies, take a walk in the park, stay overnight in a nice hotel… doing so will strengthen your bond and help rejuvenate you both.

3. Spend time apart with friends. Everyone needs and deserves some space. Making plans to hang out with people other than your significant other will help you recharge.

4. Talk about your emotions as you’re undergoing fertility treatments. It’s important not to make fertility treatments the “elephant in the room”. Be open about your feelings and you’ll reap the rewards.

5. Go to a counselor if the strain becomes too great. Don’t allow your relationship to simply become more and more strained. If it’s gotten to a serious point, seek out help. (Often, your fertility specialist can assist you in getting a referral.)

6. Eat well and exercise, even if you don’t feel like it. The healthier you are inside and out, the easier it will be to handle anything that comes your way. (And working out can be yet another “to do” item you can enjoy together!)

7. Take it day by day. When times are a bit challenging, it’s sometimes helpful to remember that “this too shall pass”. Each day is another opportunity to learn, grow and love.

 

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Dealing with Infertility at Holiday Time

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Infertility is stressful no matter what the calendar says, but it can be particularly difficult during the holidays.  For many couples, this time of year becomes a reminder of their pain rather than a celebration of their lives together.

If you are dealing with infertility, here are 10 ways to handle uncomfortable feelings and situations:

  1. Don’t tell yourself you must be happy all the time.  Allow yourself to feel sorrow, joy and any other emotion.  Bottling it up will only make it worse.
  2. Don’t give up on the holidays.  If you’ve had a particularly rough year (e.g., IVF that didn’t work, a miscarriage), you can still celebrate the good things about your past 12 months. 
  3. Don’t blame your partner for your holiday-related stress.  It’s easy to point fingers, but remember that words can hurt.  Instead, be supportive of one another.
  4. If you want to talk about your infertility issues with a friend, go ahead.  But if your friend wants to talk about your infertility and you don’t, feel free to tell him or her that you’re uncomfortable.
  5. Don’t turn infertility into the “elephant in the room” that everyone tiptoes around.  You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, but if you want to discuss it or acknowledge it, that’s fine, too.
  6. Know that some people may be unsure how to approach you during the holidays, especially those with babies.  You may have to reach out to them.
  7. Speaking of reaching out, it can be amazingly comforting to volunteer at holiday time.  Not only will it take your mind off your own issues, but it will enable you to do something good for others.
  8. Set a steady pace leading up to (and out of) the holidays.  Don’t rush around and make yourself crazy.  It will only make you more likely to experience stress.
  9. If you feel unhappy around maternity or baby items, avoid certain stores and store departments when shopping for the holidays.
  10. Exercise during this season.  It’s good for your body, mind and soul.

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