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Posts Tagged ‘depression’

Dealing with Miscarriage

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Miscarriages are often extremely difficult to accept, even when they occur relatively early (e.g., in the first few weeks of pregnancy) after conception.  Depression, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, cramping, bleeding and other physical and psychological side effects can all be a part of a miscarriage.

If you’re dealing with miscarriage, though, it’s important to remember that you’re ultimately in control of how you deal with your situation

Always remember that:

  • The miscarriage isn’t your fault.  It’s highly unlikely that you could have done anything to change it.  You aren’t being “punished” for past sins.
  • An early miscarriage isn’t anyone’s business.  If you didn’t tell people you were pregnant, you are under no obligation to talk about the miscarriage with them.
  • You can ask someone else to tell people if you have a miscarriage after you’ve announced your pregnancy.  You don’t have to make phone calls yourself if you have a miscarriage and numerous people knew you were pregnant.  A good friend or relative will probably be happy to take on this task for you.
  • It’s okay to grieve.  Even if you miscarry very early into your pregnancy, it’s all right to feel sad!  Others might not understand your feelings, but they don’t have to — you have a right to feel grief.
  • You don’t have to have sex again right away.  Many times, people will try to encourage you by telling you to “have sex soon” and “get pregnant again“.  Though they feel they are being helpful, they cannot force you to try again until you’re ready.
  • Know that you’re not alone.  If you do talk to friends about your miscarriage, you may be surprised to discover that they’ve had similar experiences.  Miscarriages might not be generally discussed, but they are more common than you might think.
  • It’s okay to move on with your life.  Regardless of your miscarriage, it’s fine to laugh, to move on and to connect with people.  Everyone’s reaction is different, not better or worse than another.
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  • Coping with the Emotional Rollercoaster of Infertility

    Friday, August 28th, 2009

    rollercoasterOne day you’re up, the next day you’re down… one moment you’re laughing, the next you’re crying… in the morning, you’re optimistic… by night, you’re a full-blown pessimist.

    It’s all part of the emotional rollercoaster known as infertility.  But knowing that doesn’t make the experience any less palpable.

    For individuals and couples, coping with the emotions associated with infertility can be a difficult process; after all, there are numerous factors at play, including those in the social, financial and relational realms.  So how do so many people make it through their experiences with infertility despite the rollercoaster-like journey?

    Because infertility is a very personal experience, couples and individuals rarely have the exact same issues, responses and/or outcomes; thus, coping mechanisms must be equally as unique.  Below, we’ve compiled a list of 8 different ways others have chosen to cope with infertility:

    1. Keep a journal or online blog.  It can be anonymous and will give you an outlet to express your feelings as well as join with others.
    2. Talk to someone you trust other than your partner.  Do you have a friend, relative, spiritual advisor, colleague or neighbor who is willing to simply listen to you without trying to “fix” you?  Take advantage of your good fortune to have such a person in your life by letting him or her know your feelings and help you work through them.
    3. Talk to your partner.  Obviously, it’s critical to be open with your partner, too.  If you’re feeling sad, be sad.  Don’t wear masks; this isn’t a time to don a new persona.
    4. Seek out the help of a therapist.  Because infertility is such a common experience, especially among those in their 30s and 40s, many therapists specialize in the area.
    5. Take care of yourself.  Even if you don’t feel like getting out of bed for the third morning in a row, force yourself to move, eat and live.  It will be tough, but it will also help you clear your mind, exercise your body and fuel your soul.
    6. Join an online infertility group.  There are online resources and forums where people like you who are coping with infertility go to commiserate, support, share and chat.  Find one where you feel comfortable being yourself.
    7. Acknowledge your emotions.  For some individuals, it’s very difficult to accept that they are having powerful emotions or mood swings.  However, it’s essential to “name the problem”.  The emotions won’t go away just because they aren’t being acknowledged.
    8. Know your emotional triggers.  Do you find that every time you go to a certain park where families tend to gather together that you wind up depressed for days afterwards?  This may indicate that your emotions are being “triggered” by the sight of parents and kids.  Although you cannot completely avoid families nor should you avoid those areas, it may be wise to tell yourself beforehand: “I’m going to place XYZ.  Kids and their moms and dads will most likely be there.  If I feel uncomfortable, I can always leave.”  That way, you’ll be heading off emotions before they can overwhelm you.

    Coping with infertility will always be accompanied by emotions; it’s just part of the human experience.  But you do have the ability and strength to get through the ride.

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    Could Sleepless Nights Add to Infertility Problems?

    Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

    sleeping-statueYou’re dealing with infertility, so you toss and turn each night.  And that inevitably leads to sleep deprivation.  Which leads to depression.  Which leads to even worse sleep.  Which leads to… more infertility woes?!?   (Uggh.)

    So suggests a recent report which claims that, for women of child bearing age, getting less than the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep can affect the body’s ability to reproduce.  (And the report suggests women get anywhere from  74-95% of the hours of sleep they should.)

    The bottom line is that in order to keep your body in tip-top shape, the sleep department is as important as all the others, including physical and psychological nourishment.

    Of course, this is easier said than done. 

    Infertility routinely affects sleep patterns, especially when it causes anxiety between partners.  That’s why it’s so critical to have some outlet — therapy, exercise, relaxation techniques — to help ensure a good night’s rest.

    The next time you’re tempted to watch the late, late, late show for yet another hour, put down the remote and hit the sack.  It could make a huge difference for you.