Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category
Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
This year, Mother’s Day falls on Sunday, May 8. Stores will be filled to the brim with cards, gifts and trinkets that celebrate moms of every age and stage. Unfortunately, for those who have dealt or are currently dealing with female infertility, Mother’s Day can seem a cold reminder of their situations.
Keeping this in mind, it’s important to approach this holiday with more than a modicum of thought and respect but without going overboard.
If you’re the friend or partner of someone who is going through female infertility:
- Don’t make a big deal out of Mother’s Day, but don’t avoid her, either.
- Don’t talk about her female infertility issues on Mother’s Day unless she wants to talk about them.
- Don’t worry about offending her every time you open your mouth. Women experiencing female infertility may be sensitive (after all, it is a sensitive subject), but that doesn’t mean they don’t want others to celebrate their other motherhood (or the motherhoods of their relatives.)
If you’re someone who is going through female infertility:
- Remind yourself that Mother’s Day is simply one moment on the calendar. Plan to spend the time doing something for yourself.
- Don’t assume that when people talk about their Mother’s Day plans that you are being deliberately excluded. Most probably won’t realize that you have mixed feelings about the topic.
- If your mother (or another female in your life who is a mom) deserves a “Happy Mother’s Day” greeting, feel free to give it to her. After all, it can often help you to reach out to another person.
- If you know of another person going through female infertility, give her a call. You can talk with one another about the day and perhaps use the opportunity as a springboard to discuss your emotions.
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Monday, November 22nd, 2010
For many individuals and couples dealing with infertility, the holidays are the toughest time of the year. After all, they are forced to be around friends and family who either have children or are insensitive to the realities of fertility issues.
To help you cope with the upcoming season, we suggest you develop a “game plan” so you aren’t blindsided at parties or gatherings. Some of our ideas include…
1. When you’re asked “When are you going to have a baby?”, you can simply smile and say, “I haven’t decided. When I do, I’ll let you know.” It’s curt, but it usually gets the other person to stop talking!
2. If you find it tough to be around little children, you may have to be selective in terms of the parties you attend. However, don’t let your frustrations over your fertility issues turn you into a hermit during the holidays.
3. When all else fails, take a trip for the holidays. Treat yourself to a break. You’ll look forward to getting away and it’ll allow you to gracefully bow out of gatherings you’d rather avoid.
Of course, there are as many ways to deal with the holidays as there are grains of sand on the beach… if you’d like to share yours, we’d love to hear!
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009
Are you planning on having a child in 2010? If so, you may want to take some steps to make sure you give yourself every chance of greeting 2011 with a baby (or a baby on the way.)
What can you do to get yourself prepared? Depending upon your situation, there are a number of items you should consider, including the following:
- Stop smoking.
- Stop drinking alcohol.
- Stop taking any illegal drugs.
- Stop taking any prescription drugs (if possible) that may hinder fertility.
- Start (or continue) a moderate exercise program.
- Stop using any form of birth control.
- Get checked for any kind of STDs. (They often have no symptoms and can be an unrealized cause of infertility.)
- If you’ve had infertility problems, get assistance from a reputable reproductive science specialist.
- Eat a diet that’s high in vitamins and lower in saturated fats.
- Try to de-stress whenever possible.
- Start having sex every three days or so (except during menses) to maximize your chances of natural conception.
- If you’ve decided to consider surrogacy, start checking out clinics that can assist you in finding a surrogate.
- Men may want to start wearing boxers. (Some studies have shown that briefs can cause sperm efficacy problems.)
- Males may also want to be careful when using cell phones. (Cell phones placed in laps can possibly affect sperm quality and counts.)
- If you’re considering IVF and you’re employed, you may want to look into your rights when it comes to time off or short term disability leave (if necessary).
- For couples looking to conceive through the donation of a viable egg, it makes sense to connect with a clinic that offers a well-respected egg donor program.
Happy New Year to you! Feel free to contact RSI to help you make your baby dreams a reality!
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Tags: 2010 resolutions, Baby Dreams, Baby On The Way, Egg Donor Program, Exercise Program, Fertility, Happy New Year, Having Sex, Illegal Drugs, Infertility, Infertility Problems, Menses, Moderate Exercise, Natural Conception, new year's resolutions, Prescription Drugs, Reproductive Science, resolutions for 2010, Saturated Fats, Science Specialist, Short Term Disability, STDs, Stop Drinking Alcohol, Stop Smoking
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Friday, December 4th, 2009
Infertility is stressful no matter what the calendar says, but it can be particularly difficult during the holidays. For many couples, this time of year becomes a reminder of their pain rather than a celebration of their lives together.
If you are dealing with infertility, here are 10 ways to handle uncomfortable feelings and situations:
- Don’t tell yourself you must be happy all the time. Allow yourself to feel sorrow, joy and any other emotion. Bottling it up will only make it worse.
- Don’t give up on the holidays. If you’ve had a particularly rough year (e.g., IVF that didn’t work, a miscarriage), you can still celebrate the good things about your past 12 months.
- Don’t blame your partner for your holiday-related stress. It’s easy to point fingers, but remember that words can hurt. Instead, be supportive of one another.
- If you want to talk about your infertility issues with a friend, go ahead. But if your friend wants to talk about your infertility and you don’t, feel free to tell him or her that you’re uncomfortable.
- Don’t turn infertility into the “elephant in the room” that everyone tiptoes around. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, but if you want to discuss it or acknowledge it, that’s fine, too.
- Know that some people may be unsure how to approach you during the holidays, especially those with babies. You may have to reach out to them.
- Speaking of reaching out, it can be amazingly comforting to volunteer at holiday time. Not only will it take your mind off your own issues, but it will enable you to do something good for others.
- Set a steady pace leading up to (and out of) the holidays. Don’t rush around and make yourself crazy. It will only make you more likely to experience stress.
- If you feel unhappy around maternity or baby items, avoid certain stores and store departments when shopping for the holidays.
- Exercise during this season. It’s good for your body, mind and soul.
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Tags: 12 Months, Babies, Baby Items, Celebration, Couples, Digg, Elephant, Emotion, Happy All The Time, Holiday Time, Holidays, Infertility, Infertility Issues, Maternity, Point Fingers, Reminder, Sorrow, Steady Pace, Store Departments, T Rush, Time Of Year, Tiptoes, Uncomfortable Feelings
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Saturday, June 20th, 2009
Both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be difficult for couples who are having difficulty conceiving.
Because it’s tough to completely avoid these holidays, it’s important for men and women (and those who love them) to take an understanding, realistic approach to dealing with the day.
Below are some suggestions for getting through family-centered holidays:
- Don’t ignore the fact that it’s Father’s Day. But try not to spend every waking hour thinking about it, either.
- Spend time with your own father or a father figure.
- Plan to do something special with your loved ones.
- If you need to talk about your feelings, do so. (If you’re religious, know that many clergy make themselves available during these particularly sensitive times.)
- It’s fine to feel angry, resentful or uncomfortable. Emotions are normal. Just don’t take them out on those about whom you care.
- If you already have children, spend time with them.
- Remind yourself that infertility does not have anything to do with self-worth.
- If you and/or your partner feel being around children will be difficult on this holiday, you may want to avoid going to places (such as restaurants, amusement parks, etc.) where fathers and children will likely gather.
- Try to remain positive throughout the day.
- Do something healthy for yourself. For instance, if you like to exercise, plan a hike in the woods or a long bike ride in the country.
What suggestions do you have for coping with holidays like Mother’s and Father’s Day for those who are struggling with fertility issues? Feel free to comment.
Tags: Amusement Parks, Bike Ride, Children Spend Time, Clergy, conception difficulties, coping with holidays, Couples, difficulty conceiving, Father Figure, Father S Day, Father's Day, Fathers And Children, Feelings, Fertility Issues, Holidays, holidays without kids, Infertility, kid-centered holidays, Men And Women, Mother Day, Mother S Day, Mother's Day, Realistic Approach, Restaurants, Self Worth, Tweet, Uncomfortable Emotions
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