One day you’re up, the next day you’re down… one moment you’re laughing, the next you’re crying… in the morning, you’re optimistic… by night, you’re a full-blown pessimist.
It’s all part of the emotional rollercoaster known as infertility. But knowing that doesn’t make the experience any less palpable.
For individuals and couples, coping with the emotions associated with infertility can be a difficult process; after all, there are numerous factors at play, including those in the social, financial and relational realms. So how do so many people make it through their experiences with infertility despite the rollercoaster-like journey?
Because infertility is a very personal experience, couples and individuals rarely have the exact same issues, responses and/or outcomes; thus, coping mechanisms must be equally as unique. Below, we’ve compiled a list of 8 different ways others have chosen to cope with infertility:
- Keep a journal or online blog. It can be anonymous and will give you an outlet to express your feelings as well as join with others.
- Talk to someone you trust other than your partner. Do you have a friend, relative, spiritual advisor, colleague or neighbor who is willing to simply listen to you without trying to “fix” you? Take advantage of your good fortune to have such a person in your life by letting him or her know your feelings and help you work through them.
- Talk to your partner. Obviously, it’s critical to be open with your partner, too. If you’re feeling sad, be sad. Don’t wear masks; this isn’t a time to don a new persona.
- Seek out the help of a therapist. Because infertility is such a common experience, especially among those in their 30s and 40s, many therapists specialize in the area.
- Take care of yourself. Even if you don’t feel like getting out of bed for the third morning in a row, force yourself to move, eat and live. It will be tough, but it will also help you clear your mind, exercise your body and fuel your soul.
- Join an online infertility group. There are online resources and forums where people like you who are coping with infertility go to commiserate, support, share and chat. Find one where you feel comfortable being yourself.
- Acknowledge your emotions. For some individuals, it’s very difficult to accept that they are having powerful emotions or mood swings. However, it’s essential to “name the problem”. The emotions won’t go away just because they aren’t being acknowledged.
- Know your emotional triggers. Do you find that every time you go to a certain park where families tend to gather together that you wind up depressed for days afterwards? This may indicate that your emotions are being “triggered” by the sight of parents and kids. Although you cannot completely avoid families nor should you avoid those areas, it may be wise to tell yourself beforehand: “I’m going to place XYZ. Kids and their moms and dads will most likely be there. If I feel uncomfortable, I can always leave.” That way, you’ll be heading off emotions before they can overwhelm you.
Coping with infertility will always be accompanied by emotions; it’s just part of the human experience. But you do have the ability and strength to get through the ride.
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